Immortal Suffering by Shana J. Caldwell

Author:Shana J. Caldwell [Caldwell, Shana J.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2020-03-23T05:00:00+00:00

Chapter 17

Allison

I toss and turn for what seems like hours. The party ended a short while ago and I can’t find it in me to go to sleep. The conversation I had with Nardia still consumes my thoughts. Was every loss worth every gain? I groan and get out of bed, I wasn’t sleeping anytime soon. I head to the training room, wanting to clear my thoughts. I needed a clear head space for tomorrow.

I’m sitting alone in the training room, looking up at the hundreds of glowing balls of light. I’ve been left alone with my thoughts, which isn’t the best idea. The swell of emotions in my chest is making it hard for me to breathe normally, and I’m not sure how to deal with them. I thought coming here would help get rid of them, not exaggerate them.

As of late my life hasn’t been horrible, I’ve been laughing and smiling and enjoying myself. So why now do I suddenly feel so alone? Why do I feel like my chest is so full that it could burst any moment? I stare down at my trembling hands; I am in one of Kal’s overly large white shirts. It swallowed most of my body.

My hair falls around me like a curtain, my bottom lip quivers. “You’re okay. You’re okay. Don’t cry,” I whisper, struggling against the tears that are pooling in my eyes. My vision blurs over as the tears win my battle. I stay still as they roll down my cheeks, landing in droplets on my hand.

I sob once and come undone; I bring my hands to my face and let it all out. The pain and guilt of everything I’d done was more than I could deal with. I let those people and vampires die. I’d lost everyone I cared about in the process. I’d lied and cheated and deceived to get where I am now. I didn’t deserve any of it, maybe all the horrible things Cassidy said about me are right.

My breathing comes in hiccups as I cry harder into my hands, I rock back and forth as I sit there; needing to move.

Stupid girl.

You’re a liar.

You’ll only get them killed as well.

You’re never good enough for anyone and you never will be.

Do you really think Cassius wanted to die?

Did you really think all those vampires you left behind were going to be saved? You doomed them. You doomed them all.

“Oh God,” I cry out as I scramble to my feet, it was too much. Everything is too much. Tears stream down my face as I run to the castle; I let my feet carry me. I don’t know where I am going but I needed to run as fast and far away from myself that I could manage. I swipe at my cheeks in half an attempt to stop the tears but it’s no point. God, how did I become so useless?

Without realising it I come to a stop outside of Kal’s bedroom. A sob wracks my body as I stand there; I reach for the door handle but hesitate.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.